When life doesn't go the way you dreamed

This week has seen the first matches of an unusual, mid-season, World Cup – very controversially hosted in Qatar. We’ve heard a lot about Qatar’s ban on homosexuality, a little bit about the 6,500 migrant workers who have died in Qatar since they were awarded hosting rights in 2011, and nothing about Qatar’s Christian population who are facing increasing violence and forced shutdowns of their churches. According to the organisation Open Doors, Qatar is the 18th most dangerous country in the world to be a Christian – having jumped 11 places in the last year. For a Qatari man or woman to convert to Christianity, in a country where conversion from Islam is not recognised, takes real conviction – far removed from the virtue signalling of wearing armbands until threatened with a yellow card.

But amidst all the controversy, one story worth highlighting is that of Liverpool forward Roberto Firmino. The 31-year-old won’t be in Qatar, having unexpectedly failed to make the Brazil squad. Earlier this month he shared his disappointment on Instagram: ‘Yesterday things didn't go the way I imagined or dreamed for my life but I can look back and have a grateful heart to God that he has already allowed me to live that dream’.

Disappointment is something that we’ve all felt. Children know the disappointment of not getting what they want for Christmas. Many of us who are older know all too well the pain of crushed dreams, unfulfilled ambitions, and longings long-since given up on. We can all identify with Firmino in hoping for something that never comes to fruition.

But although we often think of disappointment as not getting what we want, there’s another kind of disappointment too – the disappointment of getting exactly what you want, but still feeling empty. That’s a disappointment that we can often feel at Christmas time. Perhaps all the places around the table are filled, the dinner comes together perfectly, but the whole experience still somehow falls short of our hopes.

That’s the kind of disappointment that Rugby World Cup winner Jonny Wilkinson experienced after scoring the winning drop goal against Australia in the last minute of extra time. It was what he had been longing for his whole life, and yet here’s his honest take on how it felt to achieve his dream: ‘I had already begun to feel the elation slipping away from me during the lap of honour around the field. I couldn’t believe that all the effort was losing its worth so soon. This was something I had fantasized about achieving since I was a child…I’d just achieved my greatest ambition and it felt a bit empty’

That disappointment which Wilkinson experienced – of getting exactly what you want but still being left empty – is surely the worst disappointment of all. If you’re disappointed at not getting what you want, then you can hold on to the hope, however slight, that you might still get it. But if someone gets what they’ve always wanted, and they’re still left feeling empty, then they often don’t know where to go from there. Their whole way of looking at the world is shaken.

For the Christian, however, disappointment in whatever form it takes doesn’t have to crush us. As Firmino was able to say: ‘I stay here confident that God has the best for me’. He quoted from the Biblical book of Isaiah: ‘You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you’. He also quoted well-known words from the book of Jeremiah, which say: ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future’.

In fact, many have come to see that the second type of disappointment as a blessing. If we get what we’ve always wanted and it still leaves us unfulfilled, surely that disappointment is telling us that we were made for something bigger than this world can give us. A happy marriage, a loving family, career success, the perfect holiday – none can bear the weight of all our hopes and dreams – because only God can. In fact, putting the weight of those hopes and dreams on another human being can crush them – because only God can bear that weight.

Firmino ended his Instagram post with the hashtag ‘Jesus is Enough’. Only when we can say the same will we truly be able to deal with disappointment.

Wycliffe Film

On Wednesday 7th December we will be co-hosting a screening of a new film about the Reformer and Bible translator John Wycliffe. Wycliffe is known as ‘The Morning Star of the Reformation’, hence the film’s title, Morningstar. The screening, which is part of the movie’s Premier Tour, will be held in the Baptist Church, with more details on the poster below:

More information about the film is available on the official website, morningstarfilm.co.uk.

Saying Goodbye

This past Lord’s Day was a bittersweet occasion for us as a congregation as we said goodbye to Ian H prior to him moving to Dumfries. Ian has been a valued part of the congregation for the last year and has thrown himself into all aspects of church life.

Prior to our church lunch, Stephen presented Ian with a Creeds & Confessions Bible and a copy of the book Love Your Church. He then prayed for God’s blessing and guidance on Ian in this next phase of his life.

We will miss him, but he has been a blessing to us, and we trust we have been to him as well!

The Happy Christian

Stephen wrote the following review in 2015 of David Murray’s book The Happy Christian: Ten ways to be a joyful believer in a gloomy world:

If someone who had never encountered Christianity walked into your home or church, how would they describe the mood? That’s one of the searching questions David Murray asks in a book, which given its neon blue and yellow cover, looks at first glance like just another self-help resource. But behind its frothy exterior comes theological punch as a seminary professor marshals Biblical teaching, scientific research and his own personal experience as a ‘recovering sceptic’ to make the case that the Christian faith has too often been misrepresented by its friends, never mind its enemies.

He sets his sights on a siege mentality in the church, where sermons and prayers often sound more like discontented defeatism than inspirational calls to worship and serve. The Bible is the most positive book in the world – but Murray contends that the church has not always been successful in communicating the Bible’s uplifting and inspiring message.

The book starts with the good news that both the Bible and scientists agree that happiness is mostly not dependent on our circumstances (studies say only 10%). While 50% is based on genetics that still leaves 40% that we can do something about. But rather than going down the ‘Power of positive thinking’ route, Murray says the way to change things is not to believe in yourself more, but to believe in God more.

In a chapter on ‘Happy Media’, Murray points out the harmful effects of listening to a stream of negativity. Challengingly, he applies this not just to secular media but to those who teach God’s word. The reason a doctor can tell what an unhealthy heart sounds like is that he’s listened to 1000s of healthy ones. In the same way we should focus more on the truth than innumerable errors and heresies – and spend more time exalting Biblical marriage than highlighting the latest perversion of it.

In ‘Happy Salvation’ Murray tries to encourage us to stop being discouraged by never ending to-do lists and rest in our completed salvation provided by a Saviour who has already done it all and tells us: ‘It is finished’. God has given us a weekly reminder of this in the Sabbath, which we reject to our peril.

In the battle for happiness, involvement in church plays a key role. Murray points to Yahoo’s new CEO Marissa Mayer having banned all telecommuting as the lack of personal contact resulted in more loss than gain. Statistics show that those who attend religious services at least once a week have a 25% higher life expectancy than those who don’t, probably because church attendance increases social support, which is a proven life-extender. Murray also extols ‘Everywhere Grace’, reminding us that we shouldn’t just look for God’s grace in Christians. We shouldn’t be ashamed to use goods and services provided by non-Christians, or truth discovered by them.

This is a book which Murray would admit himself would not have been written if he hadn’t swapped Scotland for America, and he extols our transatlantic cousins’ ability to praise other people. ‘Scots don’t do praise’ he says. ‘Of God sometimes, but never of one another’. He seeks to unmask the sinful reasons behind this and urges us not to wait for one another, our churches or our children to be perfect before we praise them.

Murray also sets his sights on the ‘Gimme Generation’ (ie the generation most Messenger readers are part of!) whose failure to give their money and themselves is damaging charity, marriage and work, as well as being a poor witness to the secular world.

One of the biggest challenges many people find to being a happy Christian is their work, and Murray devotes a whole chapter to this area, showing that the most mundane job is as valuable as any other if it’s done for Christ. ‘The Lord’s work’ isn’t just something ministers do.

The tide of negativity in our thinking, relationships and churches is having a devastating effect, and Murray’s book is a helpful and invigorating corrective. Anyone could benefit from it and small groups could benefit from discussing and fleshing out some of the issues raised – and then holding each other accountable. Happily, of course!

For a review of Murray’s earlier book, Jesus on Every Page, see here.

Looking for a Leader to Save Us

Last month, The Times had a fascinating article entitled ‘It’s too much to hope the King can save us from ourselves’. The author, A. N. Wilson, said that with the country in economic, political and social turmoil, there was a real sense that the British public were looking to Charles III to turn things around. Commentators have been talking about the King ‘hitting the ground running’ – a phrase more suited to a politician than a monarch. And yet for Wilson, the very strength of constitutional monarchy, as exemplified in Queen Elizabeth II, is to remain above politics. And so although there are tough times ahead, ‘we lay an unnecessary burden on our new King if we pretend that he, or any monarch, is able to solve them’.

But if a constitutional monarch can’t save us, what about a politician? Tuesday marked the inauguration of the third Prime Minister in the lifetime of our seven-week old son. Many people are hoping that Mr Sunak will be able to turn things around. The markets certainly have more confidence in him than they did in his predecessor. But if Wilson is right that the UK is ‘impoverished, dangerously divided and viscerally confused’, then its surely beyond the abilities of any one man to change that.

And yet we keep hoping that someone will. Those who don’t want Sunak as PM still want a Prime Minister – they just think Starmer, or someone else would do a better job. Others conclude ‘they’re all as bad as each other’ – and yet we all have this tendency to pin our hopes on one particular individual. Whether that’s football fans hoping that a new manager will be the one to transform the fortunes of their club, or social media devotees following every move of a celebrity or influencer. There can’t be many of us who haven’t hoped that meeting someone special would change our lives.

Whether we look to celebrities, politicians or romantic relationships, we want someone we can follow, someone we can look up to, someone who will solve our problems. All of us look for someone to hope in. And tragically many live lives of despair, because those they hoped in let them down.

Looking for a human being to save us is nothing new. A commentary on the Biblical book of 1 Samuel, written by the Australian pastor John Woodhouse, is entitled ‘Looking for a Leader’. The book of 1 Samuel recounts the desire of the nation of Israel to have a king ‘that we may be like all the other nations, and that our king may go out before us and fight our battles’ (1 Samuel 8:20). For their first king they choose a man called Saul. He looked the part, but was a dismal failure as a king. Halfway through the book, David, ‘a man after God’s own heart’, was anointed as king in his place. David was Israel’s greatest ever king, and yet he also committed adultery and murder. Still, David remained the standard by which future kings were judged. Throughout the rest of the Old Testament, there is a desire for a king ‘like David’ (2 Kings 14:3).

After centuries of despair, those hopes were finally fulfilled in Jesus Christ, who – as the angel Gabriel told Mary – would be given ‘the throne of his father David’ (Luke 1:32).

Finally, a king had come who really could transform our lives. He is a king who really can ‘save us from ourselves’. From a Christian perspective, the fundamental problem with our society is not the economy, but our rebellion against our Creator. Politicians disappoint us, and yet they reflect our values as a nation. Few would disagree with the statement that ‘Britain is broken’. But why is it broken? As one MP put it last week, after thirty years when there has been a ‘total disregard for the things that give us meaning’ – including the family – ‘we are now reaping the whirlwind: chronic public and private debt, chronic family breakdown and chronic despair’.

And yet the attack on the foundations of society continues. Last week, Keir Starmer called for a more extensive ban on ‘conversion therapy’, which would outlaw aspects of ordinary Christian pastoral care. On Monday, a Conservative MP announced that the UK Government would commission abortion services in Northern Ireland, against the will of the people, and in the face of the resistance of NI’s own health department.  

Despite the current whirlwind we are reaping, we simply press the self-destruct button even harder. We need a King who can save us from ourselves.